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2005-01-28 07:27:56
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I Choose To Live

***NOTE: This wiki is not against suicide, it just supports life.


"Even if you plan to kill yourself tomorrow, you still choose to live today."



<img:http://elftown.eu/img/photo/22190_1105334556.jpg>

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This is a wiki for all who choose to live. You don't have to be anti-death, or against anything that has to do with it(i.e. cutting, morbid crap, talk of death, even anticipating it). You just have to choose to live.
There are no obligations. Maybe you'll change your mind later. But, right now, life is worth living. And you're here for it.

So, if you're here right now at this moment, like you obviously are, you choose to live. If you didn't, you wouldn't be reading this right now, now would you?

You already know the rules, and probably can assume any others I haven't put up, so I won't bother.


Here are the Members:

(*Whispers* The word "members" is a link.)




***made by: [Incontinence Happens]




A PERFECT CIRCLE
"Gravity"


Lost again
Broken and weary
Unable to find my way
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to
Just let this go


I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live


I fell again
Like a baby unable to stand on my own
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to just let this go
High and surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live, I choose to live


Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
Help me survive the bottom


Calm these hands before they
Snare another pill and
Drive another nail down another
Needy hole please release me


I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live





This's a page for all who engage in self-harm in various forms:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com





Here's a depressing Mp3 Brought to you by: [BarleySinger] ^_^
http://kenlinder.dmusic.com/
:::go to -> food for worms <-:::




OPEN IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

<img:http://elftown.eu/img/drawing/22190_1081484944.gif>

Directions:
1. Firmly grasp flap of lid.
2. Pull off completely.
3. Make spoon magically appear, and insert into pudding.
4. Get large scoop of pudding on magical spoon.
5. Jam down throat of person in need.

***note: even tho they're coughing and sputtering, trust me, they feel better now that they've had some pudding shoved down their throat.
And no! You can't eat the pudding yourself!

->Steps to Making Tasty Homemade Pudding<-


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2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: Very odd. Fuck can answer nearly anything as well. :D

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: fuck has a much more interesting effect on ppl. ^_^

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: It's a good word.

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: it is.

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: Am I a good word? o.o *waits to be loved*

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: ...you aren't a word, you're a person, dear. ...*loves you anyway*

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: Oh to be a word.

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: ....well... technically you're a word... lethargic... right? b/c that's who you are.. therefore you're that word? so you're a word?

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: *celebrates*

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: *is a word too*

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: Dirk just got on the table, and was sniffing something, so I leaned over to see what...and he was licking milk out of a bowl. lol

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: ...isn't milk actually bad for cats?

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: I think. I pulled him off...and went to take the bowl in the kitchen...he followed me...and when I sat back down he jumped up and searched for it.

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: kitties are so cute. ^_^ *misses hers*

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: What happened to yours?

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: it ran away... or someone stole it... my kittie was awesome. her name was april... *sigh*

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: *sighs with you*

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: she put my dogs in head locks... she was so cool...

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: Dirk's cool too!

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: yes, yes he is. ^_^ i loves his name. dirk's an awesome name.

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: ^.^

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: yes, lethargic is a creative genius.

2004-07-11 [Lethargic Panda]: Lethargic didn't create his name. -.o

2004-07-11 [Incontinence Happens]: where did lethargic come up with his name from?

2004-07-12 [Lethargic Panda]: *sigh*

2004-07-12 [Incontinence Happens]: ...?

2004-07-12 [Lethargic Panda]: Nevermind.

2004-07-12 [Incontinence Happens]: ok...

2004-07-12 [Lethargic Panda]: Yeah.

2004-07-12 [Incontinence Happens]: so...

2004-07-12 [Lethargic Panda]: ...so?

2004-07-12 [Incontinence Happens]: so.

2004-07-12 [Incontinence Happens]: ...that was sad...

2004-07-12 [Lethargic Panda]: Yes it was.

2004-07-16 [BarleySinger]: anyone want to listen to a depressing mp3?  click this link ( http://kenlinder.dmusic.com/music/stream/lofi/folder/7369/.c8b80f13/stream.m3u )

2004-07-16 [Incontinence Happens]: that's intriguing.... i'm strealing that. ^_^

2004-07-16 [Lethargic Panda]: *sigh* Stupid advertising.

2004-07-17 [Incontinence Happens]: ...advertising for what?

2004-07-17 [Lethargic Panda]: His stuff. There's always something he uses here to advertise. o.o

2004-07-19 [Incontinence Happens]: heh, but that wasn't even his stuff...

2004-07-20 [Lethargic Panda]: Name: Ken Linder    http://kenlinder               *sigh*

2004-07-20 [Incontinence Happens]: ...he sings? eh?

2004-07-20 [Lethargic Panda]: I suppose? I never bothered to listen to one. ^.^

2004-07-21 [Incontinence Happens]: i listened.. it's interesting...

2004-07-21 [Lethargic Panda]: *giggles* Me know what that means.

2004-07-21 [Lethargic Panda]: *giggles* Me knows what that means.

2004-07-21 [Incontinence Happens]: ....eh? i'm not sure i want to know...

2004-07-21 [Lethargic Panda]: Good choice. :D

2004-07-21 [Incontinence Happens]: yes... quite i think...

2004-07-21 [Lethargic Panda]: *is in a stabbing mood*

2004-07-21 [Incontinence Happens]: i noticed your mood was rather intriguing...

2004-07-23 [BarleySinger]: Yes it is mine. Yes I sing, and play a number of instruments and compose in a number of styles. It's it not advertising. it's on topic and free. The music is "on topic" to the wiki (an odd concept for this location). The name of the song is "Food for Worms" and it is about how we are all going to die and be eventually be "food for worms", so it would would be a damn waste to spend ones whole life playing stupid social/head games, or letting your life be destroyed by other peoples cruelty. That link wont work now. I had to repost the music due to a weird database glitch on that site. Just try kenlinder.dmusic.com if you want it. Otherwise, don't.

2004-07-23 [BarleySinger]: Its nice that somebody listened and liked it, but the point was the words, which are too long to post here. snippet : " Fuck You. Fuck Me. Fuck us all. Fuck every damn stupid game - Fuck You. Fuck Me. Fuck us all. Don't throw away your good name - Fuck You. Fuck Me. Fuck us all. I don't care who is to blame - Fuck You. Fuck Me. Fuck us all. When we're dead we're all the same - We are all food for worms. We are all food for worms. We are all food for worms. We are all food for worms."

2004-07-23 [Incontinence Happens]: yes, it's lovely. ^_^ ...i'll go try and fix the link... i have a feeling it'll argumentative, though...

2004-07-23 [Lethargic Panda]: *sigh*

2004-07-23 [Incontinence Happens]: yes lethargic?

2004-07-24 [Lethargic Panda]: Nothing.

2004-07-24 [Kurus_Dreaon]: i heard it to...not bad at all...very nice

2004-07-24 [BarleySinger]: I don't know if the lyrics are umm "nice". The point is nobody gets to "stay" a "victim". Once you are done being victimized (by actions done to you) you have a choice...either admit to the truth and feel the pain and cope with it - moving on to understanding your abuser and getting on with life....or you get to be a "victimizer" yourself (of one kind or another). Maybe not physically abusive or a mollester...maybe just "dependent personality disorder" or "borderline personality disorder". Either we take charge of our pain and scars or they shape us & take charge of us. One of the jobs of an adult (esp. parents) is de-crapping themselves so they don't pass it on to more people.

2004-07-24 [Lethargic Panda]: You forgot the option of remaining a "victim" for the rest of your life and expecting special treatment for it. -.-

2004-07-24 [BarleySinger]: You can "try" to remain a victim, but like I said...nobody gets to "stay" a "victim".  That is just avoiding getting on with life, possibly because the emotional pain of "doing the hard work" scares the hell out of a person, possibly they haven't "bottomed out" yet, or it could be just a case of a "transactional analysis" -game- "poor me" or "wooden leg" (in which a person gets "strokes" by dwelling on real or imagined injuries. People engage in games (and take on roles) to get "strokes" they do not really deserve. Roles tened to appear in groups (the drama triangel) http://www.cghub.co.za/page.asp?page=46 

2004-07-24 [BarleySinger]: this is a reasonable page on why people engage in games ( http://www.talkaboutrecovery.com/group/alt.recovery/messages/52528.html) although it does use the term "-racket-" which was invented by "landmark education" to replace the term "game" (landmark educatin is a spin off of the cult EST). It is likely that the person who wrote the page didn't know about the origins of the term. http://www.cghub.co.za/docs/newdocs1/The%2520Transactional%2520Analysis%2520Model.doc Is a page that talks about TA in general...not that most people probably give a rats ass, though TA is very useful in understanding people and how hey tick.

2004-08-13 [Incontinence Happens]: ...no one talks in here anymore...

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: That's 'cause the annoying people made me quiet on the rule of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Ha. *has an excuse*

2004-08-13 [Incontinence Happens]: you're supposed to be nice in this wiki.. don't make me make it a safe zone.

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: I am nice!

2004-08-13 [Incontinence Happens]: that's questionable.

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: I know that wasn't nice. o.-

2004-08-13 [Kurus_Dreaon]: well i would talk here.....but i just dont wanna cause problems...meh

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: If you don't wanna cause problems sir, why did you say that? The only purpose of it was to start something. If you actually genuinely didn't (seeing how you understand talking here will cause problems) you wouldn't have spoken. I shall ignore, however, really, if you're going to try and hide your "ugh'ness" you shouldn't clearly show your true intentions in your words.

2004-08-13 [Kurus_Dreaon]: i just wanted to let the other ppl here know...so they wouldnt think i didnt like the wiki...its a great wiki....and i didnt want to give the wrong impression...my apoligies

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: Okay.

2004-08-13 [Incontinence Happens]: ^_^ thanx kurus.

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: -.-

2004-08-13 [Incontinence Happens]: ...yes?

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: Nothing.

2004-08-13 [Incontinence Happens]: what?

2004-08-13 [Lethargic Panda]: I said nothing. o.o

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: ...but you conveyed your unhappy-ness with your little un-smiley face. -> -_-

2004-08-14 [Lethargic Panda]: That's not saying anything.

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: ....

2004-08-14 [Lethargic Panda]: *is silent*

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: *munches on an unknown substance*

2004-08-14 [Lethargic Panda]: Is it good?

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: ..yes.

2004-08-14 [Lethargic Panda]: I got a sandwich!

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: what kind?

2004-08-14 [Lethargic Panda]: A...good...sandwich?

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: ah... i'm lickin gthe sticking part of masking tape. it tastes funny.

2004-08-14 [Lethargic Panda]: I wonder if it's poisonous.

2004-08-14 [Incontinence Happens]: i suppose we'll find out, now won't we? *isn't dead yet*

2004-08-15 [Lethargic Panda]: If you die, I'll be irritated with you.

2004-08-15 [Incontinence Happens]: ..i might win a darwin award! ...death my masking tape poisoning...

2004-08-15 [Lethargic Panda]: o.o I'd prefer you just got really sick and accepted and honorable mention.

2004-08-15 [Incontinence Happens]: ....no.... i want to win.

2004-08-15 [Lethargic Panda]: o.o Okieday.

2004-08-15 [Incontinence Happens]: but i won't be able to see my reward.... *sigh* i wonder if they'll post it on my grave.

2004-08-15 [Lethargic Panda]: o.o Iono?

2004-08-16 [Incontinence Happens]: ...hmm...

2004-08-16 [Lethargic Panda]: *is cool*

2004-08-16 [Incontinence Happens]: i have a roast beef sandwich.

2004-08-16 [Lethargic Panda]: Is it goos?

2004-08-16 [Lethargic Panda]: Is it good?

2004-08-16 [Incontinence Happens]: ....the meat has a lot of fat on it. ....icky...

2004-08-16 [Lethargic Panda]: *pokes it* Sorry. o.o

2004-08-16 [Incontinence Happens]: *glares at it* oh well.

2004-08-16 [Lethargic Panda]: *falls over*

2004-08-16 [Incontinence Happens]: *picks you up* there you go.

2004-08-16 [Lethargic Panda]: Why thank you.

2004-08-17 [Incontinence Happens]: Uhuh. ^_^

2004-08-17 [Lethargic Panda]: *hug*

2004-08-19 [Rolo]: i like this wiki :D

2004-08-19 [Lethargic Panda]: We like it more! *gets defensive*

2004-08-20 [Incontinence Happens]: join!!!! join join join!

2004-08-20 [Lethargic Panda]: o.o;

2004-08-20 [Incontinence Happens]: ...did they join? i don't kjnow if they did...

2004-08-20 [Incontinence Happens]: ...did they join? i don't know if they did...

2004-08-20 [Lethargic Panda]: A double. !!  I don't know...you could look?

2004-08-20 [Incontinence Happens]: ....ok.

2004-08-20 [Incontinence Happens]: yes! said person did!

2004-08-20 [Lethargic Panda]: Okie dokies. Yay for us.

2004-08-20 [Incontinence Happens]: *nods* uhuh! i have... 68 members!

2004-09-01 [Lethargic Panda]: I'm left out.

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: From what?

2004-09-02 [Moonlit Serenade]: *is a very shy person* Erm.... hello..??

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: ^_^ That's alright. ...Hey. What's up?

2004-09-02 [Moonlit Serenade]: Er... Well, not much... I just decided since I decided to join this wiki, I might as well say someting! ^^;;;

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: That's always good. Besides, we need more people to talk in here! It's usually just me and two other people...

2004-09-02 [Moonlit Serenade]: heh. Well, I'll try to speak up a little more!

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: ..And don't let [Lethargic Panda] scare you off, if you don't already know him.. He gets pissy with new comers sometimes. ^^'

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: hey....just thought id pop in though i really shouldnt....see how things are here.....lo all

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: Hey, it's fine. ^_^

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: how ya doin here

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: Good. YOu?

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: meh..not to bad i guess.....how things been goin?

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: The same... Boring as ever.

2004-09-02 [Moonlit Serenade]: *watches silently, biting her lip* *blinks*

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: *pokes pearl*

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: lol sorry....its nice to meet ya lady pearl.......and im sorry to hear things are boring

2004-09-02 [Moonlit Serenade]: Meep! I've been poked.... ^^;;; Nice to meet you to. And feel free to just call me Pearl.... (i'm not /really/ a lady, just a female....)

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: *wins* ...Pearl! I feel special...

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: lol ok pearl then *smiles* glad to see ya here

2004-09-02 [Moonlit Serenade]: Hee! Erm... glad to be here!! *nods*

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: ...what do we do now?

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: no idea....will lethargic be here tonight?

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: No clue. I know he's not online right now. That's about it...

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: ok then.....its all cool

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: ^^ Whatever works... I'm surprised you came back at all.

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: well i loved this place..and still do.....so ive been watching it....and ive been dieing to say someting....but i was still worried that i would cause problems...them i couldnt take it anymore and had to come back...i mean if ya guys dont want me here thats cool and ill go....but if ya diont mind me

2004-09-02 [Incontinence Happens]: I'm fine. Do whatever you like. ^^

2004-09-02 [Kurus_Dreaon]: lol...well ill stay till lethargic comes back......i dont want to be a problem more then i have to be

2004-09-02 [Lethargic Panda]: I don't get pissy for newcomers, I get pissy for senseless jackass' whom butt into conversations to declare how pathetic they are vicariously through stupid speech, as well as people whom act tortured, yet as though they don't want pity, and then keep flaunting there "tortured-ness" around to try and get sympathy.

2004-09-03 [Moonlit Serenade]: "tortured-ness"? Stupid?? Me?? I'm sorry?

2004-09-03 [Kurus_Dreaon]: no not you pearl...its me....my aoligies...i shouldnt have come back

2004-09-03 [Moonlit Serenade]: Oh... Well, I think your nice enough, and you don't seem to me stupid....

2004-09-03 [BarleySinger]: Don't mind [Lethargic Panda]. Like most people, his words (and the internal issues that drive them) are about "him" and where he is in his head, and about what you represent to him. They are not about who "you" really are.  He is just a bit...intollerant of some people. Me included, so wecome to the club.

2004-09-03 [Moonlit Serenade]: Oh, well... Thank you! And I'm sure Lethargic Panda isn't too bad....

2004-09-03 [BarleySinger]: Hey!!!! My song got added to the stuff at the top of the page!

2004-09-03 [Lethargic Panda]: Two parts; here goes. I'm tolerant where it's deserved. Kurus, I admit at times I can handle...as I've had some forms of conversation with the child without arguments, but at other times he simply gets quite annoying. If he can refrain from his "having it hard, but don't give him pity because he's use to having it hard" thing, he's free to talk without me getting irritated.

2004-09-03 [Lethargic Panda]: Now on to [BarleySinger]. I guess what I find annoying about you is how you seem to think you know everything. You love to hear yourself...whether it be explaining something we all know (i.e. filling up half of the comment slots with paragraph after paragraph), or smugly writing subtle insults. To understand me you'd need to understand my motivations, which you cannot, because in addition to being stuck in your mindset, you know nearly nothing about me. Perhaps you should take a look into your own internal issues, because at the end of the day you're still a forty something year old man arguing with a teenager on an internet community.

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: ....neh... *apologizes to all four of you* If i've gone against anyone's opinions or anything... Grr.

2004-09-04 [and i was a kaleidoscope]: hi everyone...

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: Hello. ^_^

2004-09-04 [and i was a kaleidoscope]: and how are the soon to be dead?

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: I'm eating pocky sticks. ^^

2004-09-04 [and i was a kaleidoscope]: coolieo... never eaten a pocky stick

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: They're good. ^_^ ...Except these ones are called MEN'S pocky chocolate. ^_^

2004-09-04 [and i was a kaleidoscope]: ha ima MAN ( distinct difference from being a man and being male by the way)

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: Yes, I've been explained this difference... Guys get picky about it. Heh.

2004-09-04 [and i was a kaleidoscope]: did pearly explain it to you or wounded?

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: Oh no, another friend did... ^_^

2004-09-04 [and i was a kaleidoscope]: who may i ask?

2004-09-04 [The Scarlet Pumpernickle]: ah lethargic...you are so funny ;p I love it

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: well i must admit that yes i was a whiny cry baby about it....and i am very very sorry for that....im better now though...not near as cry baby ish as i was lol

2004-09-04 [The Scarlet Pumpernickle]: Woh! a guy admits to being wrong *runs around screaming* It's the end of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

2004-09-04 [Moonlit Serenade]: Ambee!! You've never had pocky??? You're sick. I'm getting some for you....

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: ROFL.....yes i am wrong...alas i aint perfect....thank god for it lol

2004-09-04 [The Scarlet Pumpernickle]: *snickers*

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: *is back*

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: wb

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: ^_^ ...the internet died on me for a while. But I fixed it. I feel accomplished. ^_^

2004-09-04 [Moonlit Serenade]: *claps* good for you.

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: yayness *dances*

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: It's only every once in a while that I actually fix something. Usually it's the opposite..

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: lol....im the same way...but tis all cooll...makes ya feel real good to fix something doesnt it? is to much fun when i do lol

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: IT's more fun to break things.... ^^

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: i know...but then they arent useful anymore...unless ya can brake em more

2004-09-04 [Lethargic Panda]: Thanks scarlet person. o.o Pocky is good...and it's difficult to be perfect. *reenters*

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: yes it tis....how are ya?

2004-09-04 [Incontinence Happens]: Doesn't matter if they aren't useful... *never thinks ahead about those sorts of things*

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: ROFL...thats cool then....brake away...i would lol

2004-09-04 [Lethargic Panda]: Break dancing scares me.

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: hmm..i find it interesting

2004-09-04 [Lethargic Panda]: In that it's scary?

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: no the dancing it self...for some readon it is interesting

2004-09-04 [Lethargic Panda]: o.o Scary.

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: meh....i just find it amusing to see a guy spin out onto the floor and do all kinds of funny stupid stuff....no offence to anyone who loves brake dancing or anything

2004-09-04 [Lethargic Panda]: I enjoyed the pictures of the guys spinning on their heads in front of the pope.

2004-09-04 [Lethargic Panda]: I was gonna post a picture of it...but I found something so, so much cooler.  <img:http://www.web-laun.ch/p/pope_breakers.gif>

2004-09-04 [Kurus_Dreaon]: ROLFMAO by the night...thats great LOL

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